Posted in Family, Me, Mom Life, Nonsense

Today I am tired.

I pushed it too far. I went to one more event and one more event and one more event. I let my tiny black heart run dangerously low on the things that feed it.

So I’ve spent most of the morning 🧛‍♀️ undead 🧟‍♀️ on the couch. I’ve snacked my way through a bunch of crappy foods. I finally put my ass in a bubble bath hoping to emergency self care myself into a better mood. It helped a tiny bit but my brain forgot the impossibility of enjoying a bath in a one bathroom house while the three kiddos are still here. DOH!

Mom tip: there is nothing relaxing about being tucked behind the curtain while child after child after child has to use the toilet. It’s a glam life listening to your child poop two feet from your head while you’re trying to read in the half dark behind the shower curtain. 3/10 would not recommend 🤣

You know you are overdone when READING takes too much energy. (FYI reading is my absolute favorite pastime. If I’m not reading then my dreams are dying. Just saying.)

Now I’m tucked into the couch with a toddler wrapped in random fabric pieces (it’s her Moana costume, ok?! 😂). I’m watching Murder She Wrote. (An all time favorite. I’ve seen every episode multiple times. Why do I not write or read murder mysteries??? Murder shows are 70% of my tv viewing. 💀)

So today I choose lazy. If only my inner mean girl would shut the fuck up about the clutter in the kitchen and the weird ass school supplies I haven’t summoned from Amazon yet. 😫

Posted in Healing, Me, Writing

I am important

Everyday I look in a mirror and say

“I am important.”

This is a hard exercise for me but it has brought to light some startling thought patterns.

When I was a child I was ready to die. In my daydreams I would bravely sacrifice myself to save my sister or my dog or just about anyone.

This has followed me into adulthood. I sacrifice myself for my kids, my friends, even for people I barely know. I’ve given away my knowledge, my time, and my energy anytime someone has asked me for help.

I’d love to say I’m going to stop this sacrificing cold turkey but it’s a process. Being an over-helper is a habit I have to break. I need boundaries. And I need to continue to tell myself in every reflective surface I see… I. Am. IMPORTANT